#dead poets society au

[poemcal]

helloo, I would like to make a request for Todd. where the reader is cheeky and flirts with him during breaks, but also leaves him small poems where she confesses her love. He feels the same way but she doesn't know it, and he confesses it to her one day when he hears her crying under a tree because she felt that he would never like her, and that she felt stupid trying to make him like her.

by the way, i love how you write and I fell in love the first time I saw Ethan Hawke in the movie😭😭💖

warning: none, too fluffy maybe!!

summary: how bad can it be having a crush on your classmate? Leaving poems in his desk, just as secretly as he is in love with you.

a/n: a long one, that's it, please clap for me A WHOLE THREE HOURS WRITING THIS 😭😭😭 hope you liked it!!! AND TY FOR YOU WORDS AND SAME I FELL FOR ETHAN IN THIS MOVIE TOO 😭😭🤍

✿ I LIKE YOU, YOU LIKE ME? : TODD ANDERSON

Every day you wait for Todd and his group of friends during breaks, since you didn’t share any classes with him. At first, you were friends with Pitts, and then you became close with all of them, except Todd. One day after classes, you saw him sitting alone. He always seemed like a bundle of nerves, but you liked that about him. You snuck up on him until you were right by his side.

“Writing for English?” Your voice made him jump in his seat, and he looked at you, startled.

“Y-yeah. I mean, no,” he stammered at first, closing his notebook and glancing around as if searching for help.

“I heard the classes are very... strange?”

Todd looked at you, almost offended, and shook his head. “It’s more than that. It’s like a lifestyle.”

“Wow. I’d like to be there, then,” you said with a smile, sitting beside him and glancing at how his hands were clinging to his pants, holding onto his comfort zone.

“You should. Why aren’t you? Aren’t we in the same year?” he asked with an honest curiosity that made you smile. It seemed like he was interested in you, in a way.

You nodded. “We are, but I got assigned a different teacher. Old-fashioned and boring, but he reads us beautiful poems,” you admitted, and for the first time, Todd smiled—just at you.

“You read poetry?”

“Of course! Although we read a bit of everything, it’s always Shakespeare.”

“Mr. Keating prefers Whitman, I guess.”

Since that conversation, you would find yourself approaching Todd during every break, taking the opportunity to give him small hints about your feelings toward him, which only grew stronger. The others could notice what you were doing, but Todd? Todd always seemed to be too caught up in his thoughts, never really in the moment, but still, you liked him more.

"Todd!" You shouted from across the campus and ran in his direction. Todd blushed at feeling so many eyes on him, but still, he stopped and waited for you. "Thanks for coming over," you said, laughing, and stopped by his side, letting your lungs take in a bit of air.

"‘I-I’m sorry!’ He would say, embarrassed to feel so clumsy just watching you run.

"It’s okay" you said with a smile, stepping closer. "On Monday, I’ll have a presentation" you started shyly, and Todd looked at you, confused. ‘I’ll have to recite a poem.’

"Do you want help?’" he asked, with a voice as delicate as always.

"No! I mean, I would loved that, but I already have one, I just... I don’t know, I thought maybe you could come watch me.’

Todd paused for a few seconds, then snapped back to reality and nodded. "Of course. I don’t think I have anything to do. J-just tell me the time, and I’ll be there." He never looked you in the eyes for long. For a few seconds, his eyes would meet yours, then he would find something less invasive to focus on. But you liked it.

"At four. Library. If you go, you should bring me some roses."

"I-i should?" Todd nervously looked around. "I'll have to grab some from here, then."

You laughed. "Bring some pretty ones."

"Aren't all flowers pretty?"

You nodded. "You're right. I should be more specific. Bring ones that won't make me sneeze all day."

"You're allergic? Then why would you ask me to bring flowers?"

You shrugged. "Because they're pretty. The gesture will be sweet, too," you said, winking at him, making Todd blush slightly.

After that conversation, you began leaving little notes with poems written for Todd under his desk every day without fail. You would hide behind the door, watching his reaction from the hallway. His pink cheeks, sparkling eyes, a shy smile he failed to hide, and his hands hurriedly stuffing the notes into his pockets made you completely happy. You wondered if he kept them for himself and hid them somewhere special.

Weeks went by, and your moment to recite in the library finally came.

When it was your turn to step up, you held the paper in your trembling hands, and your eyes instinctively searched for that blonde hair, but failed. Todd hadn’t shown up. You sighed in disappointment and recited your poem. The room filled with applause and cheers, and people praised you all the way back to your seat. As you walked back to your dorm, you saw him. Todd Anderson was sitting on the grass with the other poets laughing, and suddenly, it all made sense. He didn’t like you.

Todd looked at you, his eyes wide open, but you simply turned away and headed toward the solace of your dorm.

The next days, the notes on his desk stopped appearing, taking with them Todd’s excitement to arrive early to class just to read them. From then on, you also avoided Todd at all costs, not wanting to see his face, wishing to forget him. But he remained etched in your mind and heart, as important as a commandment and as necessary as the air in your lungs.

But you never cried, instead, you were angry at yourself for your foolish efforts to win his affection, which ultimately amounted to nothing. That changed one afternoon when you were sitting under a tree, far from Welton. The wind played with your hair, and the orange sunlight on your face heightened your emotions, and you ended up crying.

Footsteps startled you, and as you looked up, there he was. Todd. His face, worried and exhausted as always, but this time, his eyes held an unusual brightness.

He knelt in front of you, his face full of concern. "Are you okay?" he asked, his hesitant hands hovering in the air, unsure whether to touch you.

You nodded. "Yeah, go away, Todd."

"No, you're not," he murmured, watching as you swallowed your tears and avoided his gaze.

"I am. It's nothing, okay?"

"Come on, you can tell me," he whispered, something inside him knowing it was his fault, yet still gathering the courage when he saw you crying under that old tree.

"Todd, just—"

"I'm sorry," he blurted out, interrupting you. "I didn’t mean to miss your presentation. It’s just that—"

"You don’t have to make excuses, Todd. Really. You could’ve just said no," you murmured, letting out a tired sigh.

"No! I wanted to go. It's just... I wanted to find flowers for you, but I couldn’t. I asked the guys for help. At three! But time passed, and we failed. I’m sorry," he stammered, his hands fidgeting in a silent war with each other.

"Todd. It was sweet of you to try. But it's okay, I forgive you. That’s not why I’m like this, so don’t feel bad," you said, your voice as strained as Todd’s, which wasn’t usual for you.

"Then what is it? Y-you can trust me, I promise," he said, sitting in front of you, moving a few inches closer.

"It's silly," you said, playing with the long grass beneath your feet. "I'm... scared?" you confessed.

"Scared?"

"Yes, you know. That feeling you get when you think about the future or the past or the dark or—"

"I know! I mean, scared of what? I’m scared of many things... too many," he murmured, looking at you expectantly

"Of love," you admitted, embarrassed. "Not love itself, but the absence of love, you know?" Todd nodded eagerly. "I mean, I don’t know if I’ll ever be loved or if I’ll have something with someone! And it's scary."

You felt so small next to Todd, filled with fear, shame, and shyness. Todd, on the other hand, felt with so much power, more power than what he liked. He knew he needed to encourage you, but the words wouldn’t leave his mouth, making the moment worse.

"Don’t say that. You will be loved, you already are."

"By my mom, maybe," you said with a chuckle.

"No, I mean, yes! But I mean romantically."

"Do you believe in that idea that the love of my life is destined and wandering out there?" you whispered as if sharing a secret.

Todd nodded. "Y-yes. They could be very close to you. Closer than you think. Right in front of you... trying so hard to be noticed. Failing. Always," he finished with a whisper, his hands ceasing their internal fight and gripping each other for comfort.

"Todd, what are you talking about?" you asked breathlessly.

"I like you! I like you..." For the first time in your life, you heard him speak so loudly and clearly that it startled you, leaving you unable to form any words. "You don’t have to say anything... Your eyes. They say more. Always," he murmured, looking into your eyes for so long that you feared feeling exposed.

But then you understood. You already were. Todd already knew you were the girl behind the poetry and that you felt as deeply for him as he did for you. His hands released their grip and gently touched your face, wiping away the silent tears streaming down your cheeks and caressing the flushed areas. Your crying stopped, and your heart raced. You felt his heavy breathing over you, and he felt yours. After a few seconds, Todd kissed you. It was short, rushed, and anxious. But it was the best kiss you’d ever had in your life.

"I like you too. A lot, Todd," you whispered without opening your eyes, afraid your eyes would say more than your lips.

"I knew it the second week the notes stopped," he said, and you opened your eyes. "That’s when I realized I wasn’t the only one in love."

"Todd..." He silenced you with another kiss, this one slow, delicate, and patient, filled with unwritten poetry between the lines. Much better than the first, leaving you wanting more.

After that, the two of you began dating. You showed your love through physical acts, like kissing, hugging, or holding hands all the time. Meanwhile, Todd preferred to be more reserved. He now left you notes and preferred to kiss you in secret, feeling the intimacy of his love. And then, everything made sense.

[dailytraingirl]

anderperry but im evil so todd actually confesses to neil (in poem form or something like that) but his love is unrequited (sorry) so things get more awkward around them and it never really gets fixed so todd just steps back and theyre not as close and eventually neil gets a girlfriend so neil is in plays and stuff and then imagine neil bowing after a play and stuff and receiving flowers from his girlfriend cause she’s an angel and the sweetest person ever so todd hates himself for hating her and stuff and neil is being cheered on by all the poets and he’s so happy and todd just stands nearby in the shadows and admires him because he is so in love because neil is literally the most incredible person ever but it hurts so much because neil will actually never love him back

so basically think footnote and heather by conan gray and the scene in little women where laurie is like “i think you will marry, jo. i think you will meet someone and you will love them and you will live and die for them because that’s how you are and you will. …and i’ll watch.”

wow this is devastating why do i do this

so i’ll just take a footnote in your life and you can take my body, every line i would write for you. but a footnote will do (footnote conan gray)

how could i hate her? she’s such an angel. but then again, kinda wish she were dead. (heather conan gray)

[charliezzzz]

DPS AU I’ve been thinking about (I literally dreamed it up)

TW: Suicidal ideation and actions.

So it’s kind of a magicky almost HP like setting where Charlie notices Neil’s been off lately and puts a bunch of protection spells on him, hoping to stop him from coming to any harm.

The basic plot is that Neil plays Puck as usual, but after the play he decides to run from back stage, hijack his father’s car and drive to school, where he leaps off the bridge and plummets to his supposed “death”. Charlie and Todd of course follow him in Mr Keating’s car, leaving Mr Perry and the poets behind.

Keating and the two boys split up to find him, and it ends up being Todd and Charlie who find his body. Seeing that he’s obviously jumped, they scramble down to find his neck bent at an odd angle. Panicked and horrified, they check his pulse, slap his face to try waking him, et cetera. He’s barely alive, and the only reason he is at all is because of Charlie’s protection spells.

They cast as many healing spells as possible and when he looks slightly less dead, they rashly decide to drag him to the cave, where no-one can find him and force him back to his father (because they would likely put him in an institution, where they’d never see him again).

They bring blankets and food, then have to leave to find Mr Keating. Mr Perry has arrived at the school by now and asks where Neil is, searches for him et cetera, but Todd and Charlie lie and say he must have run far away by now. Mr Perry puts out notices and has a police search for Neil, but since no-one knows about the cave, they fail to find him.

Meanwhile Todd and Charlie get interrogated throughout this process, and sneak out at nighttimes to look after Neil, who hasn’t woken up yet. The protection spells may have saved him from immediate death, but the body still needs to recover. Over time, his neck slithers back into place and the bruises around his body start to disappear (gore moment).

When he wakes, he isn’t really Neil. He’s more like a zombie when he comes back. It freaks Charlie and Todd out a lot.

One innocent day, when the police had concluded that Neil was likely gone for good, Pitts decides to walk to the cave to pay respects to Neil. Little did he know that his favourite “dead” poet was sitting in the cave, a mere shell of who he had been.

Pitts yells and startles zombie Neil, causing him to swing his slightly broken-looking, bruised and swollen neck around to face him.

Let’s just say that soon after this, all the poets find out about zombie Neil.

Look, I’m sure that at some point Neil turns normal again, and that Todd and Neil run off together and escape their parents blah blah blah but this is already long so maybe I’ll go into more detail if I ever make this a fic 🔥

[lightningmonarchda3]

Dead poets society AU where remus is mr. Keating and harry, ron, hermoine, and the rest of the golden trio era characters are his students.

[anhonest-puck]

i can NEVER resist the movie star aus for anything i’m obsessed with. because. because. imagine if neil became a hollywood actor guys guys hear me out GUYS

[hyacinthi-mortem]

Anderperry wizard au?

I found something I wrote a while ago and thought it'd fit anderperry so I edited it, sorry if it's a bit disjointed bc I had to change perspectives :)

-------------------------------------------------------

Pinpricks of light flicker in the air, just bright enough for Todd to see, casting a soft glow over them both, a net of golden constellations.

"Do you ever wonder if the stars get cold up there?" He glances at Neil, frowning as laughter meets his ears, "what?! I'm serious!"

He reaches towards the floating lights, trailing his fingers through them like glowing sand, "they're so beautiful, but so far away."

Neil smiles, out of everything, watching Todd's child-like wonder at things he takes for granted will never grow old; tricks meant for children, bringing the stars down to Earth to scare away the darkness.

A stray orb floats away, struck out of orbit by a wandering touch, and bumps into the ceiling before dissolving into a fine mist.

"Hey Neil??" Todd turns to face him, a subtle flush on his cheeks as he sees the stars, not his conjured illusions but instead the night sky captured in his eyes, eyes like hot whiskey and stardust, like nebulae, warm, and cold, and nothing and everything all at once

"Yeah?" Tearing his eyes away from his stars, he turns towards him, and feels the soft press of Todd's lips against his, chaste and fleeting.

Until he pulls away and cold air rushes between them, giving Neil a soft smile.

"I'm sure the stars aren't cold up there", Neil chuckles, watching Todd's face flush red as he mumbles something about being tired, and leans back, watching the clusters of golden light spiral in the summer haze.

[movielp-pany]

the dps summer camp au is becoming a thing now

like them as camp counselors and Keating would be like the head of the camp and yes Chris and Ginny are also camp counselors alongside the poets

I feel like it could go someting like this:

Charlie would 100% tell the kids embarrassing stories about the others

you know how kids ship certain counselors together and most of them play along? yeah Charlie has a camp romance with almost all of the poets. Todd and Neil also have a camp romance (but the catch is that they are actually dating)

Neil and Ginny would do little improve scenes for the kids

the group would come up with the most unhinged activities and the kids are living for it (Cameron would try to talk them out of doing it, but never succeeds)

one of the poets (probably Charlie) dropped a small hint about the dead poets society to one of the kids, and now some of the kids sneak out of their tents to have their own meetings

Meeks would go stargazing with the kids (space nerd Meeks real)

Pitts, Cameron and Chris are the only ones allowed to prepare/cook the food because the others would either burn down the tent or cant cook to save their life

Chris does little fun dance exercises with the kids from time to time (at the end of the camp they have created a silly little dance)

Charlie and Knox would give like 'love advice' to the kids so they can get a camp romance (most of the advice is silly and wouldn't really work out side the camp)

What is a camp without a camp fire? The have a camp fire like every other night. Sometimes they tell scary stories, other times they read poetry, or Chris and Charlie will play the guitar and saxophone (yes Chris can play the guitar) while the others sing

[teddy06]

Everyone wake up the new AU I’m never gonna write just dropped

Dps Pump Up the Volume AU

With Meeks as Mark and Charlie as Nora

For the uneducated Pump Up the Volume is a 1990 Christian Slater movie about a kid who moves to a small town and starts a radio show that pretty much radicalizes everyone in his high school

He’s broadcasting illegally and then stirring up a bunch of trouble and being wild but then in school he’s like the quite kid that no one really notices and then as things start to get bigger he’s desperately dodging being outed as the guy from the broadcast

(It was essentially just the Disney channel original movie radio rebel but significantly better)

The point is: Meeks is the quiet kid coming out of his shell and Charlie is the kid who ends up figuring out who he is first and helping him continue on with it

[73647e]

dead poets society au where everything is the same, except charlie starts a successful cooking youtube channel after welton. he is mostly successful for including asmr voice overs of himself whispering “cooooooooook” with different videos of him walking about and vaguely cooking. he puts the ingredients in the description. people don’t learn anything from it. they just watch it for the sheer entertainment

[poemcal]

HEYY OMG!!!!! So I LOVE U ALREADY!!! I have been looking for people who are currently into Dead Poets Society because I am such a newbie 🙃. I literally watched it for the first time last month and I LITERALLY LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT!!! Anyway, I have grown to love Neil Perry and I was wondering if you could do a Neil x reader (fem) and it's Christmas time and maybe they are decorating or watching a movie with hot chocolate lol just fluffy Christmas stuff!!! Please take your time, I do not want you to rush lol!! Thank you so much!!! 🫶🏻🫶🏻🎄🎄

warnings: none

summary: Christmas with your boyfriend Neil!!

A/N: OMG TYYY and I love u too with that Andrew icon IM OBSESSED WITH THE CHOSEN!!!! I hope you like it, and sorry for taking so long I was a little bit busy 😭😭🤍

SANTA TELL ME | NEIL PERRY

It was finally Christmas, and your parents had left the house. They were never passionate about the holiday, but you definitely were. As soon as they were gone, you didn’t hesitate to invite your boyfriend, Neil, over to spend some relaxed time together.

The two of you were on the couch, wrapped in a warm blanket. Your arms were around his torso, and his were resting on your hips, holding you in a tender embrace. The lights were off, the fireplace crackled softly, and the television played a Christmas movie you weren’t really paying attention to.

“This is the best Christmas ever” Neil whispered, just as distracted from the movie as you.

You chuckled. “It’s not even Christmas yet.”

“Well, the best almost Christmas” he replied with a sweet smile, pressing a soft kiss to your head.

That smile of his, had a way of changing everything. The lights from the Christmas tree reflected on his pale face, reminiscent of snow, with his cheeks slightly flushed. He looked so endearing that your heart raced every time you looked at him, or even thought about him. Slowly, you adjusted yourself until you were face to face. Your eyes met, and for a few seconds, neither of you moved. Then, you both leaned in for a kiss. The faint sound of the movie and the crackling flames in the fireplace made you feel safe. At home.

“I wish we could stay like this forever” Neil said softly, taking your hands and gently tracing them with his fingers.

“So do I” you admitted, almost overwhelmed by how sweet everything felt, though you didn’t mind. “You know, you don’t have to leave. My parents won’t be back for two days.”

Neil shook his head. “My dad only let me stay until midnight, remember?”

Silence settled over you both again, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was the kind of silence where thoughts spoke louder than words. Neil’s hands moved back to your hips, softly caressing them, while you cupped his face in your hands, stroking his cheeks gently.

Neil let out a sigh, enjoying your caresses with tenderness and feeling your love through them. The silence was all you needed, your hands traveled over his silhouette and his rested on you, feeling all the stress and worry leave his body whenever he was with you. You made him feel good.

"I have something for you," Neil murmured, pulling away from you and standing up to search for his backpack. A little surprised, you watched as he pulled out a perfectly decorated box with a sweet white ribbon. Neil smiled and walked back toward you, gently placing the box in your hands.

Just as gently, you took the box, feeling your heart race as fast as it could. You looked at him one more time before opening it, and smiled shyly, seeing a silver necklace with a butterfly pendant. You loved butterflies, and Neil had come to love them too just because of you.

"Neil, you didn’t have to" you whispered, your eyes still on the necklace.

Neil smiled. He didn’t care about the money, not when your reaction was so sweet. He knew how grateful you were. Without answering, he quickly took the box from you and carefully pulled out the necklace, motioning for you to turn around. And so you did. Calmly, Neil placed the necklace around your neck, letting it rest there. It looked perfect on you.

"You look beautiful" Neil murmured, kissing your flushed cheeks with a smile.

"Thank you so much, honey" you said shyly, giving him a hug that lasted longer than you expected, but it was impossible not to love Neil’s hugs. They were so sweet, pure, and full of love. "I also have something for you, though I was going to give it to you at Christmas, I guess i'm going to do it now-"

Neil smiled excitedly, watching as you rummaged under the Christmas tree until you found his gift. It was wrapped with a red velvet ribbon, so elegant. Nervously, you handed it to him.

"Thank you so much, my love" he said, smiling brightly, thrilled to receive a gift from you.

"You haven’t even opened it!" you squealed, feeling nervous, encouraging him a little.

"I appreciate it just the same" he shrugged, tearing off the wrapping paper. His smile widened even more when he saw the book in his hands. It was a book made by you, with a cover too neat to be handmade, and on the first page you’d written him a poem, full of love. When Neil tried to turn to the next pages, you stopped him by placing your hand on his and shaking your head.

"You have to read it in private, when you have more time. It’s a long book, but for now, I just want to spend time with you" you said. Neil, more in love than ever, nodded and closed the book, putting it down beside him.

His arms wrapped around your torso surprising you, but you relaxed once the initial surprise faded, letting yourself be enveloped in his affection. Your fingers tangled in his hair, and his lips kissed your neck, each kiss and caress was a sweet "thank you" from him. His kisses on that spot made you giggle, as his warm lips decorated your neck with soft and tender gestures.

"Merry Christmas" he whispered against your neck, and you fainted in his arms, feeling his love surround you.

"Merry Christmas, Neil" you whispered back the same way.

Neil lifted his gaze to meet yours, his bright eyes making you feel weak under his look and touch, but in the most beautiful way a weak can feel like. Neil whispered something you couldn’t quite understand before kissing you in a perfect kiss. The taste of hot chocolate on his lips made the kiss even more memorable, the mistletoe above you, the Christmas movie on the TV, the lights on the tree. Everything was perfect. He made everything perfect.

"I love you" you blurted out without thinking, covering your mouth with your hand, surprised at yourself.

Neil, on the other hand, froze before you. It was the first time either of you had said it. But within seconds, he was laughing at your reaction, his eyes hidden behind his smiling cheeks.

"I love you. I love you so much. You’re the best Christmas gift" he whispered, kissing you again between his words, making your clumsy confession worth it.

With him, everything was worth it. Neil always appreciated everything, remembered it not just in his mind, but in his heart. He always noticed what you liked and what bothered you, paying attention to details you wouldn’t even notice. And he did all of that because he loved you. Because you mattered to him, and because he didn’t want to be anything less for you. He wanted to give you everything because you deserved everything.

That night would end up being the best of all, the best Christmas of your life. The silent kisses, the speaking glances, the childlike hearts, and the affectionate touches. Everything shared on such a special night, as Christmas truly was. With him, everything always felt just right.

[wrenteen75]

[dailytraingirl]

anderperry but it’s kinda like 101 dalmations in a way but only because there’s a dog and they meet in central park or some other park in ny like washington square or wherever take your pick idc and todd is there reading a book or writing in a notebook and sitting under a tree and neil is playing frisbee with his dog but he has terrible aim so he accidentally hits todd in the head and then the dog jumps on todd trying to get the frisbee and neil is like mortified and he’s like ‘oh my god bad dog i am so so so so so sorry for my dog and my bad aim please are you okay let me make it up to you somehow’ because how the fuck did he screw up so badly and hit this incredibly attractive stranger in the head with his frisbee and then get him trampled by his dog. so then todd is like ‘nonono im fine i swear’ and he’s all embarrassed but neil still feels really bad so they go and get coffee together or something because neil wants to make it up to him and they exchange numbers and become best friends and hang out a lot and eventually fall in love

someone write a fic about this i have no creative talent like if i tried it would be so bad anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk

[yuri-anderperry]

[carpe-meow]

[lizzieandersoncore]

[hyacinthi-mortem]

TW- SUICIDE, BLOOD, MC DEATH, ANGST

NO HAPPY ENDING.

The fic is under the cut

I'm sorry for writing this but I needed to, I'll go back to writing fluff again soon I swear 😭

@mighthavebeenmurder your post induced this, the promised angst is here

(Further warning- Todd dies)

——————————————————————————

'I never had the chance to say 'I love you', or 'goodbye.''

He could see him, hear him, but why couldn't Neil hear him crying his name, why did he still press the gun to his head, god he looked so beautiful in the moonlight.

A single gunshot rang out, clear as anything through the night and Puck's crown came tumbling down.

Todd screamed, one long cry of terror and agony as he watched Neil crumple to the floor, the blood pooling by his feet appearing on his hands, running up his arms as he cried, staining him red as he sank to the floor trying so desperately to scrub the blood of the boy, he thought was so full of life that he could never die, off of his arms.

----------------------------------------------

He woke in a pool of sweat, and tears.

Blankets kicked across the room, as he stared at the bed that once belonged to Neil, now empty, nothing left of him except a faded Harvard flag and a box, a box to which Neil pressed the key for into Todd's hand after the play, as he begged, pleaded, for him to open after his father took him home, as he whispered a confession into Todd's ear before his father tore him away and he let him go. He let Neil go.

Todd wiped the tears from his face and looked away, he still hadn't opened it, maybe if he didn't it would all be a dream- Neil couldn't really be gone could he? The casket could've been empty, he could be...

No.

"I'm sorry, I-" He whispered, looking towards the ceiling, and further, to the sky and the stars, as he begged for something, anything to wake him from this living hell.

Todd turned over, a half hearted attempt to push himself towards the edge of sleep, but he felt the cold metal of a key press into his chest, so cold, he thought, how cold was Neil when they found him, or was he bleeding out on the floor still, did they hear the shot or did they sleep through it, did they...

He sat up, clutching as his chest as he struggled to breathe, heart breaking in his chest as he cried, the thoughts of Neil lying there alone burnt into his mind, each tear a drop of blood on pale skin, on the wooden floors, on the- He stumbled out of bed, head pounding as he tripped and fell to the floor, hissing in pain before getting back up and taking the small wooden box from his wardrobe and kneeling on the floor, hands trembling, to open it.

Inside, a small letter, Todd's name written messily on the front, blurring as tears smudged the ink before he shoved it in his coat pocket.

He ran. Ran out of hellton, away from the poets, away from keating, away from it all, as he fell to his knees at the pier.

His breath hangs in the air, little puffs of smoke surrounding him as he fills his pockets with stones, weighing him down as the steps into the freezing water; deeper and deeper into the murky depths until he breathes in, one last painful breath until it hits him, a sudden sense of calm.

All of a sudden he feels so small, the stars above him fade away, and as death embraces him he clutches the letter to his chest, his last thoughts blurring together until the final one.

'I never got to tell you I love you.'